Entries Tagged 'WTFF?' ↓

This weekend the L.A. chapter of The Children Affected by AIDS Foundation held their annual Dream Halloween fund raiser event. Now I may or may not be hit with a cloud of brimstone for mentioning this noble charity in a celeb-skewing post, but since I went to church and Bible Study on Sunday, I’ll take my chances. And since this fund raiser seriously brought out some of the worst, creepiest costumes in celeb Halloween history, I just have to share.
I think that when one attends a children’s event, the assumption is that you can cut corners with your normal attention to detail and the standard image you try to portray as a celeb. I guess everyone figured that kids just wouldn’t notice any otherwise unsettling aspect of their appearance that evening? That’s really the only way to explain Teri Hatcher’s very unflattering-bordering-on-pscyho Queen of Hearts get-up, […]

Continue reading this post by: Miss Lennox For more…

Querida Mi Hija J-Lo,
People who don’t tell others when they are pregnant until the bump is like way too obvious seriously annoy me. But people who DENY they are pregnant and continue to deny that they are pregnant even when the bump is obvious are in a whole other class of pissoffability as far as Miss Lennox is concerned. And you, mi amiga, and denials of the significance of your bump have landed yourself there.
However, this picture which undeniably reveals the true state of your womb should definitively make you understand that we KNOW you are pregnant and that continual denial of your fetus is just not acceptable. It’s plain stupid at this point.
From the looks of that bump you are way past the hush-hush 12-week mark. So give it up. Your Roberto Cavalli get-up has revealed what we’ve all known for two months […]

Continue reading this post by: Miss Lennox For more…

Super manly hero to young and old and quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick was in court today pleading guilty to charges surrounding dog fighting and animal cruelty thus proving that he is neither a hero nor manly. The plea could land him  year in prison where hopefully incarcerated Cleveland Browns fans will gang rape him until his anus forms an infected fistula into his skull. Here’s what his attorney had to say:
“After consulting with his family over the weekend, Michael Vick asked that I announce today that he has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors regarding the charges pending against him. Mr. Vick has agreed to enter a plea of guilty to those charges and to accept full responsibility for his actions and the mistakes he has made. Michael wishes to apologize again to everyone who has been hurt by this matter.”  (source)

I won’t even restate the cruel […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

If I had to guess, I’d say that skeletal Jenna Jameson was caught here in this photo trying to bang the crazy-as-shit out of her head. Or, maybe she’s gone to her happy place full of otherwise verboten calories. Whatever the case, I’m damn disappointed. Anorexia should be reserved for worthless starlets, not porn stars. I could care less if Nicole Richie throws up so much that she eventually loses the boobs I was never interested in anyway. But as far as I’m concerned the star of Cum One Cum All and Briana Loves Jenna should always look like a goddamn blow-up doll and not Skeletor.
I am quite disappointed.

Jenna Jameson, Plastic Surgery, Porn, WTF?, WTFF?

RSS Feeds

Continue reading this post by: Miss Lennox For more…

Matthew Roloff, one of the stars on TLC’s “Little People, Big World” has been taking drinking lessons from Lindsay Lohan. According to a police report, a Deputy in Washington County, Oregon saw a white van weaving about. The deputy stopped the vehicle and identified the man as the mini-star Roloff.
Supposedly, little man failed the field sobriety test. Don’t tell me how the fuck he managed to miss that big honker of his. I never would have thought it possible for such a tiny man to have such a huge beak. His mugshot reminds me of some sort of twisted lawn gnome. Scary stuff.
But anyway, he failed the field sobriety test, then refused to take a breathalyzer down at the station. He was charged with a citation, then released.
What I am wondering is this…does celebrity justice now extend to crappy reality TV stars? I think people should cut him some […]

Continue reading this post by: Valkyrie For more…

According to reports, Angelina Jolie is upset over the fact that heart recent biopic - about Mariane Pearl and her slain husband, journalist Daniel Pearl - was box office failure.
According to a source close to Angelina Jolie, 32, the actress is “devastated” by the audience rejection of her movie A Mighty Heart (it has earned just $9 million).
“She poured her heart into the story and can’t believe people don’t understand how important it is,” the insider tells Us Weekly in this week’s issue. (source)

Angelina, wanna guess why nobody went to see it? WE KNOW THE ENDING. We saw the whole gruesome thing play out on CNN just a few years ago. Why watch a movie that dramatizes an already traumatic event in our very recent - and very raw history. We were just getting used to not seeing beheadings on Youtube and you go and make a movie about it. […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

 
That’s it. I’m done. Congratulations, Lindsay, you’ve beaten me. I used to think that I possessed a biting wit and a funny take on celebrities’ misfortunes that would endear me to the masses, but you’ve taken that away from me. You’ve worn me down, and I’m waving the tattered white flag of surrender. First you get a DUI on Memorial Day weekend, then you enter rehab. OK, I’ll cut you some slack on account of your admitting that you’re a complete alcoholic (whereas I’m only halfway, i.e. I don’t have to go to rehab just yet). Then you celebrate your 21st birthday, sober and with your mom. I celebrated mine at a Bacchalanian Italian feast before gallivanting across Southern Europe for the next 3 months, but once again, I was willing to take it easy on you. Then you go out […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

Whoa. I’m getting all geared up for my patriotic nudity & fun in the sun week off and these come in off the wire. What the hell? Apparently Scarlett Johansson now has a nose ring, a weird tattoo and is dressing like the creepy girl’s PE teacher at my middle school. How could this happen? The last time I saw her she was getting thin due to breakup stress and looking like she was ready to party all night. Now she looks like she can’t find her minivan at Showbiz Pizza. I’m not one to judge -wait I’m an anonymous internet writer who gets paid to make fun of people- so yes. Yes I am one to judge. Maybe she’s a method actor and she’s preparing for a role. And maybe that role is somebody’s dumpy mother who used to be a goth whore but now has 3 kids and […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

UPDATE: TMZ reports that Paris Hilton was released for “health reasons”. She is now under house arrest and must to wear an ankle bracelet that notifies the authorities if she leaves the tiny confines of her 5000 square foot house; which is barely 50 times bigger than her spacious jail cell.
Whatever will she do?
I mean ,after a few days it will get boring driving her golden golf cart from one end of the house to another. Or flying a kite in the living room or riding her horse up and down the stairs. Poor kitten. They should have let her go to one of those awesome half-way houses where the cool criminals get to go; where they get to sleep next to each other on ratty cots while they listen to the guards rape the other parolees. LA law, you’re a stinker!
drugs, DUI, paris hilton, WTF?, WTFF?

[…]

Continue reading this posy by: fatback For more…

I think paroled may be too strong. Maybe let off easy is more appropriate, because the LA legal system is about as tough on crime as an episode of Dragon Tales.
Unimpeachable sources tell TMZ the deal was sealed yesterday, and that Hilton made her exit early early this morning.
She was originally sentenced to 45 days in jail, but that was reduced to 23. She served a total of three days — the normal stay for a violation of this kind. (source)

God damn. I’ve had video check outs at a Hilton Hotel that took longer than Paris Hilton was in jail. I like how the LA Police don’t even try to disguise the preferential treatment anymore. One judge for LA County was quoted as saying, “Well I can’t keep her jail after I already cashed the bribe check, duh.”. Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. Like how […]

Continue reading this posy by: fatback For more…