Entries Tagged 'WTF?' ↓

Marisa Miller because summer is dunzo, bro

Dude. Where the hell did summer go? It seems like just yesterday I was breaking out the white slacks, popping my collar and getting my 23 ft sloop out of dry dock to sail down to my parents house in Newport so I could discuss my new start-up with some buddies over beers and baked clams-beachside. No bigs. Now it’s already time to pull the kegs in from the beach, send the bitches home and get the beach house winterized, bro. The cool thing is that we didn’t have to bury anybody in the sand and have my dad take care of all that like last year. Score. Speaking of scores, here’s Marisa Miller half naked because I love summer and summer is for naked boobies.

Links if you made it this far:

Cute College Girl O’ The Week: Heather from Monmouth. (College Humor)
Lindsay Lohan’s dad visits her in rehab […]

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The Crazy Train Rides Again!

While “Rock of Love” on VH1 seemed to promise Miss Lennox a bevy of classless blowjob queens, it actually has failed to produce. The girls on “Rock of Love” just don’t possess the same trash factor of the “Flavor of Love”/”Charm School girls.” So you can imagine how excited I am that “I Love New York 2″ is premiering on October 8th on VH1!
Miss New York is the Queen of Trash and is definitely good for about 237 unreasonable outburts, a ton of sloppy kissing and repulsive groaning, plus Sister Patterson (a.k.a. Miss New York’s Mama) is back again! This lady is crazier than her daughter, and yes that is possible.
As well, Miss Lennox observes in these pictures from the 1st episode that Miss New York’s boob job is settling in nicely and she seems to have lost some of the weight that she obviously gained during […]

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Jessica Biel Has Something in Her Trunk

Jessica Biel better be careful walking around in a latex catsuit. Someone could get the impression that she has a huge ass.

Jessica Biel, WTF?

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Britney Spears is rich and filthy

Britney is back y’all! And if reports are to be believed her new single is going to cement her comeback with salacious lyrics and tough sexy attitude. OR. It will be a uncomfortable display of awkwardness that makes all her friends who listen to it stare at their shoes or the ceiling and say, “Um, yeah. Your dress is soooo pretty, Brit”
The new dance track meant to resurrect the pop tart’s stale career is out, and it begins with a defiant declaration: “It’s Britney, b—h.”

I’m not good at hangman, but I think that’s supposed to say,”It’s Britney, bench” and if so well, I think I just had an orgasm. Britney doesn’t really need the money from album sales, however…
Her average monthly income is a whopping $737,868, according to court documents filed by ex-hubby Kevin Federline, who’s seeking custody of their young sons Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 […]

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The Hills are at the Beach

The chicks in these pictures are supposed to be Lauren Conrad, Whitney Ford, and Audrina Partridge from the MTV “reality” show The Hills, but to tell you the truth, I really couldn’t tell you. I’m not in junior high, so there’s no reason for me to watch MTV, but from what I can tell, this show is about these three laying out and calling other girls bitches. Ooohh, the drama!

The Hills, WTF?

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Alyssa Milano is a Hairy Beast

In 1987 Miss Lennox totally wanted to be Alyssa Milano as Sam Micelli on “Who’s the Boss?”. She was a bit older than me, but I idolized her as Sam and wanted to dress exactly like her in oversize, geometric print sweaters, spike my bangs 4″ high like hers, secretly go on a date with a college student, make out with one of those Bloom brothers with the psycho eyes, ask Angela for help behind Tony’s back, etc . . .
Anyway, flash forward to 2007 and Alyssa is still gorgeous and worthy of Miss Lennox’s envy . . . except for the hirsuteness her arms seem to be suffering. Seriously, what the hell? Has she never heard of Veet or Nair or laser hair removal?
The total package posing for her “Touch” line of baseball fan clothing is so beautiful–so what’s with the arm hair?!?

Alyssa Milano, WTF?

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Emilie de Ravin LOST her clothes

Emilie de Ravin nude, mates. Except this is the nude that people who purport know such things call art, whereas the girls in the cheap magazines that don’t get the pimples on their asses photoshopped out are called pornography - the former being naked girls with the pink bits covered up and the  latter being naked girls with the pink parts in full panoply. Both are photographed by the same sleezy photographer but one gets the black & white filter applied and hangs under glass in galleries where people sip champagne they can’t pronounce and try to have conversations about parallax and the various lenses one needs for this sort of thing. The other get stapled into a glossy pulp bi-fold and is relegated to a life behind a brown cardboard blind at the magazine stand that keeps small children being assailed by a view the naughty bits.

Breasts, Emilie de […]

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Michael Vick Made a Mistake

R.L. White, Atlanta’s NCAAP Chapter President, says that Michael Vick was sold out and that he should be able to return to the NFL once his sentence is over. Yahoo says:
“As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football,” said R.L. White, president of the group’s Atlanta chapter. “We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country.” White said the Falcons quarterback made a mistake and should be allowed to prove he has learned from that mistake.

Yeah, totally. This was clearly a mistake. I can’t even count the times I’ve been drunk at a bar and ended up illegally transporting pit bulls over state lines so I could make them fight […]

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Happy 47th(?) Birthday Kimberly Stewart!

Happy birthday to Kimberly Stewart! Based solely on this picture of her ass from this weekend, I’d guess it were her 47th birthday. But, inexplicably this is the curdled ass of a 27 year old.
Given her genes (mom is Alana Stewart and dad is Rod Stewart) and her age, I’m baffled by her ass. But, really the whole picture, regardless of age, is quite puzzling. Check out her disproportionate body. Kimberly is a super-thin chick who has certain parts that are out of proportion to the rest of her–but she has so many of them that I’m not sure why the total package looks thin.
Miss Lennox’s wish is to run into her on the beach one day and squeeze her upper thighs and saddlebags until the fat moves up into and fills out her tiny ass cheeks. I’d also sweetly suggest some breast implants, like a […]

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The Joker Looks Lame

The Wizard World Chicago convention sounds like a cool place to pickup hot sorority girls or talk about preseason football, but turns out, it’s also a good place to steal some The Dark Knight production stills and leak them online. If you’re Warner Bros., this can’t make you happy. Not because the pics were leaked but because Heath Ledger might as well be carrying a parasol and a Yorkie with a bow in its hair. You have to get up real early in the morning to make the most diabolical villain is comic book history look like Robert Smith’s gay brother. And if you’re The Joker, that’s probably not the look you were going for.

Note: The first two actors in serious contention to play The Joker were Paul Bettany and Monica Bellucci’s husband, Vincent Cassell. Fuck you, Hollywood. Fuck you in the ass.
WTF?

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