Entries Tagged 'White Trash' ↓

“Looka dat girl n’dem daisy dukes…“
Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes working the slutty honkey tonk bar maid look, except there are no slutty honkeytonk barmaids who look this good. After a lifetime of missed opportunities, failed relationships, unplanned pregnancies and a predilection to men who are either cowboys or bikers, most of these chicks have been pulling the taps too long to be wearing these kinds of outfits - but they still do. And every night they strap in the sagging rack that used to make the boys come running, pull on the too-tight short-shorts, fire up a crumpled Marlboro Red and click on the neon beer signs in the front window -wondering which booze soaked redneck will roll off her later tonight as she cries herself to sleep. Happy Birthday mom.

Jessica Simpson, White Trash

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Britney is back y’all! And if reports are to be believed her new single is going to cement her comeback with salacious lyrics and tough sexy attitude. OR. It will be a uncomfortable display of awkwardness that makes all her friends who listen to it stare at their shoes or the ceiling and say, “Um, yeah. Your dress is soooo pretty, Brit”
The new dance track meant to resurrect the pop tart’s stale career is out, and it begins with a defiant declaration: “It’s Britney, b—h.”

I’m not good at hangman, but I think that’s supposed to say,”It’s Britney, bench” and if so well, I think I just had an orgasm. Britney doesn’t really need the money from album sales, however…
Her average monthly income is a whopping $737,868, according to court documents filed by ex-hubby Kevin Federline, who’s seeking custody of their young sons Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 […]

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In an interesting turn of events, K-Fed is giving Britney a good kick in the balls she’s grown. Don’t tell me she doesn’t have them. Any chick who shaves her head has a set hidden somewhere.
K-Fed Up should be his new moniker. He is sick and tired of his Ex’s stupidity and believes the kids would be better off with him. I say, good for him. Take your kids from the crazy bitch! Cracking into cars, giving the paparazzi crotch shots (which Fatback loves, ya know), and doing only god knows what the fuck all else, surely isn’t the example you want for your kids.
I never thought I would see the day when I thought K-Fed was a stand up parent, but hey, hell does freeze over occasionally it seems. ‘Course he could just be in it for the money.
As we first reported, K-Fed is going back to court asking […]

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Even when drunk, it appears that Lindsay Lohan may be a better driver than Britney Spears. I mean hell…the girl has wrecked two cars, stole a car almost killed someone and ended up in rehab. Britney on the other hand can’t even park without cracking into another car. Getting out of her ride proves to be a problem, too. Drive into a car, then slam your door into same vehicle, show us your crotch. Super. Smart.
The video and pics are plastered all over the ‘net, so it’s gonna be real hard for her to try to worm out of it. With her bankroll, it’ll be easy to slip some cash to the other driver. Then again, maybe she can loan the chick who owns the car her Manny for an hour.
If they do it in Vegas, that’s legal.

Britney Spears, White Trash, WTF?

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When you’re rich, you can afford to buy a man instead of a dildo. At least, that’s what it looks like Britney Spears has done. Sure, everyone thinks he is her ‘manny’, but Valkyrie knows the real deal.
What Brit-Brit has is a bone-a-fide walking, talking sex puppet. And why not? Nothing much hotter than a little bit of white trash walking around with a sex toy. I walk down the street with my venus butterfly turned on high, because that’s how I roll. True story.
At least Britney has the sense to hire someone to look after her kids. I mean, Britney hasn’t proven to be the brightest when it comes to child care. Who the fuck lets their baby fall out of a high chair? Ok, so it happens, but I wonder if the genius even strapped the kid in position in the first place.
Oh and with the divorce final […]

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Nice thong, dude. Anything you wanted to tell us? These pictures of Britney Spears and those other two sexy honies were taken just before Britney’s brain shit the bed and she shaved her head back in February. It’s supposed to be in the back of a Club in NYC, but but for some reason that club looks like Abu Graib.
Taken just five days before the popstar’s now infamous head-shaving incident in February, Brit leaves little to the imagination in an impossibly teeny thong.
Partying with palls at the Club One nightclub in New York city, the troubled 25-year-old mum-of-two dived backstage to chat with the night spot’s resident dancers and ended up stripping down to her smalls in the process. (Sun)

It’s always nice to see that even really, really, really slutty girls can manage to get the cigarette worked into a the picture somehow. Touch O’ Class. One more […]

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So this whole story about Paris Hilton making out with and lapdancing Cisco Adler . . . well Miss Lennox just doesn’t get it. I’m beginning to think that if you are part of young Hollywood that it’s just obligatory to hook up with anyone in your cohort. Typically I wouldn’t care who Paris hooks up with—I mean who can keep up anyway?—but in this case she hooked up with someone who I passed over, and with good reason . . . he’s Cisco Adler, ex fiancé of Kimberley Stewart, ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton, perhaps best known for his saggy, elephant balls which accompany any internet posting of him, including this one, and the epitome of dirty–like if you even breathed in the air he exhaled you would catch something super virulent.
My run-in with Cisco goes like this . . . last December my best friend and I went to […]

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Yeah, I’ll say it. Who. Gives. A. Fuck.
There. Now the rest of the world can thumb their noses at little ol’ Valkyrie, a girl who doesn’t give two shits about the Becks bending whatever it is he bends, or some dumbass NFL player who was dumb enough to get caught in a dog fighting racket. Nope, and I don’t care about the welfare of these dogs. Why? Because I don’t. I’m betting about a few million other people don’t either.
Oh, there will be a ton of pissed off PETA bitches whining about the poor, loyal pit bulls and other doggies who got bit the fuck up and killed.
Yeah, well, fuck ‘em.
I have an idea that will solve my give-a-fuckedness. Take the Bex, Vick, and four or five fighting pit bulls, put them all in a large enclosure with an electric fence and a closed circuit camera. Sell video.
Now that’s something […]

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Well okay. It’s his ex-wife, but he’s gay and she’s a has-been, hottie, homewrecker, which (alliteration aside) still qualifies this for white trash headline of the week (WTHOW), even though it happened in Canada. Eh?
Skating with Celebrities star Kristy Swanson was arrested late Saturday night for allegedly assaulting the ex-wife of her companion and former […]

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Jessica Simpson might be stalking John Mayer. Apparently, her flagging singing/acting/socialiting career has left her chasing pasty white boys. Good thing she has a great rack to keep her alive. Hollywood rulez.
A guest at the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood said that on Monday morning John Mayer was yelling into his […]

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