Entries Tagged 'White Trash' ↓

See that? That is salacious headline folks. I don’t like to brag but they don’t teach that shit in journalism school. That comes from years of walking a beat, doing the research and following leads to get the story. Other bloggers may have fancy pants degrees from respected ivy covered liberal arts schools, but did they live blog the Vietnam War? No. No they did not. The key to writing a good story is coming up with a compelling headline that is evocative with just a hint of scandal, then diving right into the story so the readers will be instantly immersed in the narrative. Going on and on about unrelated or tangential information will only cause the reader to become disinterested and stop reading. Where was I?
Jamie and Lynne Spears arrived this morning at the County courthouse in downtown L.A. Sources say both parents are extremely concerned […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

Even though her children have taken from her “indefinitely”, Britney Spears still finds time to reflect and lament her dire and pitiful situation. Wait, I mean she parties like a drunk sorority girl.
“(Spears) is to have telephonic contact with the minor children,” Commissioner Scott Gordon ruled at last week’s hearing. “All prior orders remain in full force and effect.”
The pop singer, 26, has been forbidden to see her sons Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, for more than three weeks, following her Jan. 3 custody standoff, which ended with her brief hospitalization.
Despite two attempts by her lawyers to regain her visitation rights, Spears cannot see her kids indefinitely, the judge has ruled. (source)

There is something disturbingly sexy about a mentally unstable mother who shirks responsibilities to her children so she can go party with her underwear showing. Maybe it’s the hollow, vacuous stare hidden by sunglasses that really turns me on. […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

Britney Spears showed up for court yesterday wearing the same clothes she had on the day before and still sporting the British accent. Cheerio!
Accompanied by Sam Lutfi, the poptard, who was furiously biting her nails, sported the same jeans, boots and $475 L.A.M.B. handbag she was seen in yesterday at Petco. When she arrived at Mark Vincent Kaplan’s office, a braless Britney pulled down the neck of her shirt to expose her shoulders and addressed photographers in a British accent. (source)

So, instead of putting on a suit and showing up for court prepared to fight for her children, Britney showed doing the the walk-of-shame with freshly fucked hair, no bra and her panties in her pocket. If I was the judge I wouldn’t let her have custody of a six piece Chicken McNugget meal, although that might get a little more attention than her kids.

[…]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

In a surprise move (that surprises no one) , a judge took away Britney’s visitation rights to her children. This comes after weeks of no-shows, missed court appearances and bizarre behavior.
Britney Spears still may not visit her children, a court commissioner ruled Monday, following a custody hearing the pop singer missed.
Kevin Federline, who testified at the session, maintains sole legal and physical custody of their two sons Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, “indefinitely,” a court spokesman says. (source)

Finally a judge with some balls. Although, feeling relieved that Kevin Federline has sole custody of too small children is kind of like feeling relieved that the hooker you accidentally killed didn’t have syphilis.

RSS Feeds

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

On November 18th (that’s fresh news!), Britney Spears reportedly walked into the Hustler Store in West Hollywood and sexed the place up with her sensual movements like a sex tiger in heat. Wait. No. She came in high, showed her box to everyone and shoplifted some shit on the way out the door as seen here in the longest pull-quote ever.
Spears loaded up on naughty skivvies and headed to the fitting rooms. But store employees “told her they don’t allow people to try on underwear,” a source at the scene says. “She was really upset.”
Adds the source: “She looked out of it. There was nothing going on behind her eyes.”
At that point, Spears threw a fit, and took off her own underwear before trying on a pair of boyshorts (with “Barely Legal’ stitched across the rear end) in the middle of the store while 15 other customers looked on.
An […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

Britney Spears’ court appointed parenting monitor just filed a disparaging report to the court that portrays an apathetic Britney who’s unwilling to make any effort for her chlidren.
The paperwork, filed under seal to LA Superior Court, claims that “[Spears, 25] paid her [monitor] no attention or respect at all, as if she were some employee whom she could blow off,” the source says.
“Britney’s often distracted and in her own world when she has the kids [Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1] and has a hard time focusing,” the insider adds. “She is adamant that she doesn’t have to listen to anybody — that it’s her way or the highway.”

The report went on to say:
Spears is due in court for the custody battle October 26, and the judge “will not look favorably upon” her, the source says. “This is a very damning report. Who knows if Britney will even show?” […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

 
In what could be the lamest news all day, Britney Spears was seen leaving a Los Angeles “Medical Building” last night where it is believed that she received some cosmetic enhancements. It looks like she has some lip injections; that, or else she’s one day closer to learning not to talk back to her man. According to TMZ:
Britney Spears practically had her hand surgically attached to her face as she tried to leave a Beverly Hills medical building late Thursday afternoon. But what was she so desperately trying to hide? (source: TMZ)

Oh Snap! No. They. Din’t. See how they used the term surgically right before they talked about the Medical Building? That’s writing folks. That’s why they have a tv show and eleventy millions hits a day and I have write my posts on an etch-a-sketch.

RSS […]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

 
Britney Spears is going to be HEALED! Apparently, when a judge decided that a red neck, wigger was the lesser of two evils and gave K-FED custody of her two children, Britney decided it was time to take the matter to the Lord. Or Indian spirit.  Or something.
[She] is said to have organised the meeting with a head shaman near a reservation at the base of America’s Grand Canyon.
A source said: “The head shaman has agreed to perform the ritual on Britney, which is a great honour.
“The shaman will wave sage over her head and daub her temples with a magical potion. And the learned Indians will chant mantra and perform a special dance around her.” (source)

Then they will add some nice chicken stock and a bouquet garnis to the pot, spatchcock  her plump body and add a little ‘essence’. BAM!

[…]

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

 
So yeah, in the out of the frying pan into the bong news of the year, Britney Spears just officially lost custody of her kids to her ex-husband Kevin Federline.
L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today stating that Kevin Federline, the boys’ father, “is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court.” (source)

Judge Gordon is a better man than me, because I would have just thrown them in the lion pit at the zoo. That way at least they’d have a shot. Little kids are crafty like that.

RSS Feeds

Continue reading this post by: fatback For more…

In the best news I’ve heard all day, Britney Spears will temporarily lose custody of her two children to ex-husband Kevin Federline later today. The ruling is based on information the court received about Britney Spears over the weekend. Fox News reports:
Commissioner Scott Gordon will order the boys, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James, turned over to Federline… During Monday’s custody hearing, Spears’ former bodyguard accused the pop star of having “issues of nudity and drug use” since she returned from rehab, and reports of a planned “hit” on Federline emerged. The bodyguard’s attorney, the high-profile Los Angeles lawyer Gloria Allred, said in a press conference Monday that Spears’ attorney chose not to cross-examine the bodyguard, who has been described as a “secret witness” against Spears in her custody battle with Federline.

Man, Britney is having a great month. To get the full effect, maybe she should […]

Continue reading this post by: Todd For more…