Entries Tagged 'Paris Hilton' ↓

While I gained five pounds binging on desserts and shit over the holidays, Hollywood girls found more productive uses for their time:
Jennifer Love Hewitt volunteered at an L.A. Soup Kitchen preparing meals for the homeless, and looking quite cute with Santa I may add. Meanwhile, Nicky Hilton was showing off her bronzed, bony body on vacation with her family in Maui. Note Paris’ beach get-up which I’m certain came from a vintage shop circa 1988. Nicolette Sheridan was also at a beach on Christmas–she and boyfriend Michael Bolton hung out in St. Barts where she showed the paparazzi she was no Jennifer Love Hewitt. Seriously, the woman is nearly 45 and looks friggin’ incredible! Finally, Kim Kardashian did some holiday shopping with Reggie Bush who will be just another “friend” who she gets mad about at the media for portraying […]

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When I think of “sporty,” “athletic,” and “fit,” I think of, well, anyone but Paris Hilton. However, the athletic company Fila must recognize some connection to fitness that Paris harbors somewhere in her since they have made her a spokes model for their brand. Over the weekend she was in South Korea whoring herself out for the sportswear line. I say “whoring herself” because I’m pretty sure she would never wear their gear if not for the ridiculous amount of money they’re paying her to say that she loves it. Seriously y’all, come on–this is the girl who was even lazy and whiny in her sex tape . . . an athlete she is not.

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If they wear them, Miss Lennox will talk! Yes, more Halloween costumes from Hollywood this weekend. Though there are several pics, Dennis Rodman as Jungle Big Bird Tranny does take the cake. And, I just want to tell you how much more I loathe Spencer Pratt after seeing him in his costume. Indeed Spencer is a Superhero, a.k.a. SuperDouche.

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Thanks to this weekend’s Spike TV’s “Scream Awards,” there were no hot actresses left floating around the streets of L.A. Nope, they were all at the Greek Theater, indeed. The Scream Awards are supposedly a celebration of the year’s best in Horror, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Comics, but I’m pretty sure it’s a veritable celebration of the best in T&A.
I have to hand it to Spike TV for getting Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Kristanna Loken, and Jessica Biel in the same room. Though, had Spike also provided the girls with champagne, a hot tub, a false assurance of privacy, and then a live internet feed, it would have made for an even more interesting evening. But, I digress . . .
Check out the hotness at the Scream Awards, as well as the crumbs (i.e. Paris Hilton) . . .

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Good God! As if we all needed another reason to feel terribly for the people of Rwanda! Well, indeed we have one more . . . Paris Hilton has confirmed to E! News and Newsweek that she’s due to visit the war-ravaged country in November after she wraps shooting on her upcoming horror-musical film (Horror-Musical? WTF?).
Paris poignantly notes,
“There’s so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help.”

I tend to think by “need” Paris sees the obvious lack of nightlife and fashion there and intends to class the country up a bit and make it “hot.”
Anyway, Paris’ supposedly altruistic spirit is betrayed by her own words to Newsweek. She tells the magazine that her visit to Rwanda will be filmed in hopes of selling the footage as a reality show called […]

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I guess somebody should’ve told Paris Hilton that Nicky Hilton’s 25th birthday party actually meant “Nicky Hilton’s 25th birthday party”, because of course, Paris made it all about Paris. God, this whore can’t help herself. Every time she sees a camera it’s like a fish that saw something shiny. Nicky Hilton could get shot in the face and Paris would show up at the crime scene covered in gasoline with a lighter in her hand and waving her arms like a P.O.W. who just saw a plane.

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Before this year, it was damn hard to catch a good glimpse of female celebrities’ lady parts. Skirts, dresses, pants, and of course, underwear had stifled my efforts to sneak a peek at some bush. No amount of talking to my computer screen, coaxing and begging in my sweet-as-sugar voice could get them out of hiding. (“Aww, c’mon, just a little a peak for Big Al. Pleeeeeease.”) Well, in recent months, young Hollywood has answered my prayers, and the fur–or lack thereof–has been flying. Lips have swayed proudly and freely in the wind, like so many confederate flags along a Georgia country road, and for Big Al it’s been just like Christmas.
So last night, with visions of sugar plums and baby-makers dancing in my head, I had a dream. I dreamed-up the salaciously unholy marriage of my two favorite pastimes: ultimate fighting and […]

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So this whole story about Paris Hilton making out with and lapdancing Cisco Adler . . . well Miss Lennox just doesn’t get it. I’m beginning to think that if you are part of young Hollywood that it’s just obligatory to hook up with anyone in your cohort. Typically I wouldn’t care who Paris hooks up with—I mean who can keep up anyway?—but in this case she hooked up with someone who I passed over, and with good reason . . . he’s Cisco Adler, ex fiancé of Kimberley Stewart, ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton, perhaps best known for his saggy, elephant balls which accompany any internet posting of him, including this one, and the epitome of dirty–like if you even breathed in the air he exhaled you would catch something super virulent.
My run-in with Cisco goes like this . . . last December my best friend and I went to […]

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Paris Hilton reportedly suffers from extreme ADD and clautrophobia, which is why she was released from jail earlier this month.
TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and claustrophobia, and these conditions may have triggered the Sheriff’s decision to spring her from Lynwood Jail last week.
We’re told Hilton is taking […]

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THIS JUST IN. Paris Hilton was ordered back to prison to serve out the remainder of her sentence.
Hilton left the courtroom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.” Hilton was also heard saying “It’s not right.” One witness said that Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy. (source)

Wow. Are they sure? Because I’m pretty sure she’s really rich and that’s not supposed to happen. How else will poor people have something to bitch about? Who will they envy? Looking at that picture, I actually feel sorry for her. Ya, no. Not really at all. I wonder if the dude that bringing the coke and midgets over for her house party tonight will be upset?
Let’s all take a moment to reflect on this. You know, we should show our solidarity by doing things that free people do, like for instance: not have to sleep in a prison. […]

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