Entries Tagged 'Jessica Simpson' ↓

Since the Dallas Cowboy’s early exit from this year’s NFL playoffs, snipers and ninjas in the Dallas area are waiting for Jessica Simpson to step foot inside the city limits, because they feel she was partly responsible for the loss. Yesterday on his blog, Simpson’s ex-bf John Mayer asks us to politely leave Jessica alone. Sorry. He writes:
Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,
This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.)
This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind.
I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting […]

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Jessica Simpson was feeling quite giving this holiday season. No, I’m not talking about the nipple slip above, although that  is sure to make everyone including baby Jesus tickled pink, Jessica recently sent Prison Break star Lane Garrison a TV to help him get through his 40 month stint in jail for a drunk driving accident that killed a teenager.
JESSICA SIMPSON gave jailed actor LANE GARRISON something to smile about over Christmas (07) - she reportedly gifted the former PRISON BREAK star with a colour TV. Garrison, who is serving a 40-month prison sentence for a drink driving accident that cost a teenage passenger his life, was granted access to a TV in his cell for good behaviour, but didn’t have the funds to buy one. So Simpson, who grew up with Garrison, offered to buy her troubled friend the TV, according to In Touch Weekly magazine. (source)

That was pretty […]

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Jessica Simpson is reportedly upset with John Mayer about their breakup and about his smoking hot new girlfriend, Minka Kelly.
According to the report the pop star turned country singing hopeful, isn’t pleased her ex is dating Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly, 27.  Isn’t it a little late for all of this?
“It upsets her she couldn’t hold him down.” (source)

Normall, I would piss me off that someone had the balls to dump Jessica Simpson, but we’re talking about John Mayer. It’s like he’s on a crusade to have sex with every hot girl in Hollywood. I used to think he was kind of a mush - with all that body is a wonderland shit, but he seems like a pretty funny guy and he’s an amazing guitar player. And he is also banging EVERY HOT GIRL HOLLYWOOD and leaving them in smoking heap behind him. I think he may […]

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Jessica Simpson is reportedly upset with John Mayer about their breakup and about his smoking hot new girlfriend, Minka Kelly.
According to the report the pop star turned country singing hopeful, isn’t pleased her ex is dating Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly, 27.  Isn’t it a little late for all of this?
“It upsets her she couldn’t hold him down.” (source)

Normall, I would piss me off that someone had the balls to dump Jessica Simpson, but we’re talking about John Mayer. It’s like he’s on a crusade to have sex with every hot girl in Hollywood. I used to think he was kind of a mush - with all that body is a wonderland shit, but he seems like a pretty funny guy and he’s an amazing guitar player. And he is also banging EVERY HOT GIRL HOLLYWOOD and leaving them in smoking heap behind him. I think he may […]

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I’m not sure what the ACE Awards are so I’m not sure why Jessica Simpson attended them yesterday. But, I am sure that she managed to perpetuate her image of clumsy and ditsy when, at the event, she stepped into a grate in the street, got her heel caught in it, and teetered. Being Jessica Simpson, this faux paux of course had to be a camera-moment, and thus it looks like she worked the whole “OMG! I’m falling thing.” I don’t imagine that, say, Nicole Kidman or Angelina Jolie would have made an overly-exaggerated moment of the five second experience, but they’re certainly women with real talent no Jessica Simpson.
I, for one, find the whole thing amusing, but do wish Jess would have had a nip-slip instead of a regular slip, don’t you?

[…]

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First of all, damn, my artwork certainly should be admired here. Those hearts look like they were powered by the motor skills of a curious 5 year old who got into Papa’s open bourbon bottle when he passed out. But enough about my childhood . . .
Anyway, I’m not sure I get either of these alleged matches. Usually when you’re 21 and dating an older dude with an ex-wife and some kids it’s because he’s got a lot more money than you do. This is not the case with Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong so I can’t fathom why she spent Halloween on his lap at some bar in NY. Furthermore, in the case of Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson, all I can say is that she must be awfully desperate to take on Owen’s kind of baggage. According to the always-credible […]

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“Looka dat girl n’dem daisy dukes…“
Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes working the slutty honkey tonk bar maid look, except there are no slutty honkeytonk barmaids who look this good. After a lifetime of missed opportunities, failed relationships, unplanned pregnancies and a predilection to men who are either cowboys or bikers, most of these chicks have been pulling the taps too long to be wearing these kinds of outfits - but they still do. And every night they strap in the sagging rack that used to make the boys come running, pull on the too-tight short-shorts, fire up a crumpled Marlboro Red and click on the neon beer signs in the front window -wondering which booze soaked redneck will roll off her later tonight as she cries herself to sleep. Happy Birthday mom.

Jessica Simpson, White Trash

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Alright bitches, here is your chance to be famous like me. If you can get your hands off your pudgies for a minute, let me know what YOU want to hear about.
We’re going to try something new around here. New hot writer, new hot stories, right? See, I’m going to let you choose my posts for my next projects. This where you get to have a say in what goes on around here. Comment on the celebrity or recent news you most want to get the real dirt on. I’ll pick my favorite and rant until the cows come home. Choose wisely, sage ones.
email me bitches. valkyrie@fatbackandcollards.com
More old school Jessica Simpson to get your uh, creative juices flowing.

Breasts, Hotties, Jessica Simpson, WTF?

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Jessica Simpson might be stalking John Mayer. Apparently, her flagging singing/acting/socialiting career has left her chasing pasty white boys. Good thing she has a great rack to keep her alive. Hollywood rulez.
A guest at the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood said that on Monday morning John Mayer was yelling into his […]

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Jessica Simpson, beyond desperate for a comeback, and borderline looney, is seeking advice from pop diva Mariah Carey to get her back on track. I know, right? Where do we even go from here?
Jess has turned to the Queen of Comebacks for inspiration. In July 2001, Mariah made a bizarre appearance on MTV’s TRL, on which she performed a striptease and handed out ice cream to the audience. The five-octave soprano then had a breakdown in a Manhattan hotel, smashing crockery and cutting her feet and hands. She was ultimately admitted to the Silver Hill Hospital for what her publicist described as “an emotional and physical breakdown.”

Fucking classic!
“Jessica has been singing Mariah’s praises endlessly,” a friend of the former MTV reality star dishes to OK!. “She thinks Mariah is amazing and appreciates that she may be able to learn from her. Jessica’s career […]

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